Reference translation for bonus exercise 8 -- movie caption

雙食記
Deadly Delicacy

病人服用了大量的維C
He took a lot of Vitamin C
同時又吃了很多蝦
and had many shrimps at the same time
這兩樣東西在他胃裡形成了砒霜
Those two things formed arsenic in his stomach
也就是砷中毒
It’s called arsenic poisoning
但更嚴重的是
However, the worse is
他是慢性的食物中毒
he suffers chronic food poisoning (he has got…)
他吃了很多不該吃的東西
He’s had a lot of foods that he shouldn’t have had
生活中並非所有的食物都可以同時食用的
Not all the foods in our diets can we eat at the same time
那些飲食禁忌食物相生相剋的道理
There are food taboos and mutual restraints,
你都知道嗎？
Are you aware of those?
他已經兩個月沒回家了
He hasn’t been home for two months.
他在外面還有一個女人
He keeps another woman.
報應啊
It’s retribution. (It’s deserved punishment.)(What goes around will come around.)
你們男人總喜歡腳踏兩條船
You men always want to have an affair
可是天底下哪有女人心甘情願做情人呢
But, there’s no woman on earth willing to be the mistress.
我可不可以把我丈夫帶回家去
Can I take my husband home?
我是產院的護士長
I’m a head nurse of obstetrics hospital.
我知道應該怎麼照顧他
I know how to take care of him.